I Feel Pretty
by Willowsnake
Summary: It's Semes vs. Ukes! But what happens when the losers get prettied up and perform in this musically inclined One-Shot! Puppyshipping and other Shippings included! REVISED!


Disclaimer – I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or any of the songs in this fic

*Rated T for Teen

* * *

**Summary**: It's Semes vs. Ukes! But what happens when the losers get prettied up and perform in this musically inclined One-Shot! Puppyshipping and other Shippings included!

* * *

**I Feel Pretty**

"Kaiba, I swear that if you screw this up, I will kill you!" Yami roared at the CEO. That's what Tea walked in on afterschool in an empty classroom when she went searching for her friends.

"Um…what's going on?" she asked.

"Well, Joey somehow got it in his head to have this whole Seme vs. Uke thing," started Tristan. "Kaiba, Yami, Marik, Bakura, and I are on the Seme side while Joey, Yugi, Malik, Ryou, and Duke are on the Uke side. Right now, the score is tied."

"If Kaiba loses, the Semes will have to play a…penalty game," continued Duke.

"And what's the penalty game?" inquired Tea, curious.

"Uh, you see…the losers kind of have to get…dressed up and do a little song and dance kind of thing," answered Tristan.

"And who exactly is going to be coaching the losers?"

"You," said Tristan, cringing since he expected Tea to clobber him.

"Sounds fun," she exclaimed, grinning evilly.

"You know what? I'm switching sides!" Duke cried, pushing Tristan over onto the Uke side, taking Tristan's place on the Seme side. "You're the Uke!"

Tristan sighed and crossed his arms. Oh, well. At least he knew the Uke side was going to win. Joey was the master of Rock-Paper-Scissors.

Seto frowned at Joey, his eye twitching every now and then. It was up to him to win this. "Ready, Puppy?"

"Ya bet," replied the blond.

"Rock! Paper! Scissors!" they said in unison.

"Ha! I won!" Joey cried, jumping up and down. "Paper beats Rock!"

"No!" Seto exclaimed, horrified. "Best two out of three!"

"No way! A deal's a deal!" crowed the blond. "You're Tea's now!"

"I refuse!" declared Seto.

"If any of ya refuse," Joey said in a sing-song voice, wiggling a finger at the Semes, "all of ya will be deprived of sex…for a whole month."

Seto paled. No puppy wuvins for a whole month? Like hell! He rounded on his teammates. "If any of you are thinking of refusing, I will kill you!"

Duke raised an eyebrow. "Kaiba, can you really not last a whole month?"

"_You_…don't understand. I _need _my puppy wuvins. And if I don't get my puppy wuvins…for a whole fucking _month_, I will make all of your lives a living hell!" the CEO roared.

Seto saying 'puppy wuvins' would have been funny if he weren't so dead serious. The others on the Seme side gulped in response, giving into the conditions of the bet.

"Great!" exclaimed Joey as he made his way over to Tea. "Now let me fill ya in on what ya have to do."

* * *

The next day after school, Joey and the rest of the Uke side sat in the auditorium awaiting Tea's production of the Seme's Mini Musical.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Tea announced from the microphone in the center of the stage. "I hope all of you are ready for one great performance. The Semes have undergone quite a make-over and they've practiced their songs meticulously. So are we ready for some fun?"

The small audience hooted in response.

"All right. Let's reveal our Semes!" she cried as the curtain lifted.

And the Semes appeared, complete with new hairstyles, make-up, cute dresses, and heels! They were dressed as women!

Marik's hair was parted to the side and wore a skimpy purple dress with matching pumps; Duke's hair had been straightened and he had on a green empire dress with a pair of flats; Yami's hair had been pulled back in a ponytail and he wore a sleeveless gown—what shoes he wore remained to be seen; Bakura's hair had been braided in two pigtails and he had on a schoolgirl outfit and…a lollipop; Seto, however, wore hair extensions and he wore a snug black cocktail dress with similarly colored heels.

Overall, they looked pretty hot…but extremely pissed.

Suddenly, there were a few flashes of light.

"You better not have taken any fucking pictures, Puppy!" Seto growled.

"I didn't! I swear!" Joey responded, although, he smirked inwardly. _He _hadn't taken any pictures.

"Let's get on with the show!" announced Tea. "Each Seme will be featured in a performance all of their own with a song I have selected personally. While one Seme sings, the others will serve as the chorus when needed."

Joey and the others clapped, cheering madly.

* * *

**'**_**Cause I'm a Blonde **_**by Julie Brown**

**[Sung by Marik]**

_Because I'm a blonde, I don't have to think._

_I talk like a baby, and I never pay for drinks._

_Don't have to worry 'bout getting a man_

_If I keep this blonde and I keep these tan,_

'_Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

'_Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_I see people workin', it just makes be giggle_

'_Cause I don't have to work; I just have to jiggle_

_I'm a blonde, B-L-O-N-D._

_I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?_

_I never learned to read, and I never learned to cook._

_Why should I bother when I look like I look?_

_I know lots of people are smarter than me,_

_But I have this philosophy:_

_So what?_

'_Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_I see girls without dates, and feel so sorry for 'em,_

'_Cause whenever I'm around, all the men ignore 'em,_

'_Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah._

'_Cause I'm a blonde, nyah, nyah, nyah._

_They say that to make it, you need talent and ambition._

_Well, I got a TV show, and this was my audition:_

_Umm…okay…what was it?...umm…_

_Don't tell me…Oh, yeah, okay._

_"Duck, Magnum, duck!"_

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_I took an IQ test, and I flunked it of course._

_I can't spell VW, but I gotta Porsche,_

_'Cause I'm blonde, B-L-I-N-D._

_'Cause I'm a blonde; don't you wish you were me?_

_**[Marik Speaking – Imagine Valley Girl]**_

_I just want to say that being chosen this month's Miss August_

_Is, like, a compliment that I'll remember for as long as I can._

_Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA,_

_But, my goal is to become a veterinarian 'cause I love children!_

_**[Marik Singing Again]**_

'_Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_Girls think I'm snotty, and maybe it's true._

_With my hair and body, you would be too._

_I'm a blonde, B-L- ... I don't know!_

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah._

_'Cause I'm a blonde, yeah, yeah, yeah!_

* * *

_**My Boyfriend's Back **_**by Angels**

**[Sung by Duke]**

_**[Duke Speaking]**_

_He went away_

_you hung around and bothered me every night_

_And, when I wouldn't go out with you_

_You said things that weren't very nice_

_**[Duke Singing]**_

_My boyfriend's back, and you're gonna be in trouble_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_When you see him comin', better cut on the double_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_You've been spreadin' lies that I was untrue_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_So look out now, 'cause he's comin' after you_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_Hey, he knows that you've been tryin'_

_And he knows that you've been lyin'_

_He's been gone for such a long time_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_Now, he's back, and things will be fine_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_You're gonna be sorry you were ever born_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_'Cause he's kind of big and he's awful strong_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_Hey, he knows I wasn't cheatin'_

_Now, you're gonna get a beatin'_

_What made you think he'd believe all your lies?_

_You're a big man now, but he'll cut you down to size_

_Wait and see!_

_My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_If I were you, I'd take a permanent vacation_

_(__**Chorus**__: Hey la, hey la, my boyfriend's back)_

_Hey, I can see him comin'_

_Now, you better start a-runnin'_

_**[Instrumental]**_

_Wait and see!_

_My boyfriend's back; he's gonna save my reputation_

_La, hey la, my boyfriend's back_

_La, hey la, my boyfriend's back_

* * *

_**Man! I Feel Like a Woman **_**by Shania Twain**

**[Sung by Yami]**

_I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright_

_Gonna let it all hang out_

_Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice_

_Yeah, I wanna scream and shout_

_No inhibitions-make no conditions_

_Get a little outta line_

_I ain't gonna act politically correct_

_I only wanna have a good time_

_The best thing about being a woman_

_Is the prerogative to have a little fun (__**Chorus**__: fun, fun)_

_Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady_

_Men's shirts-short skirts_

_Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style_

_Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction_

_Color my hair-do what I dare_

_Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel_

_Man! I feel like a woman!_

_The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take_

_The chance to get out on the town_

_We don't need romance-we only wanna dance_

_We're gonna let our hair hang down_

_The best thing about being a woman_

_Is the prerogative to have a little fun (__**Chorus**__: fun, fun)_

_Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady_

_Men's shirts-short skirts_

_Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style_

_Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction_

_Color my hair-do what I dare_

_Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel_

_Man! I feel like a woman!_

_The best thing about being a woman_

_Is the prerogative to have a little fun (__**Chorus**__: fun, fun)_

_Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady_

_Men's shirts-short skirts_

_Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style_

_Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction_

_Color my hair-do what I dare_

_Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel_

_Man! I feel like a woman!_

_I get totally crazy_

_Can you feel it_

_Come, come, come on baby_

_I feel like a woman_

* * *

_**Like a Virgin **_**by Madonna**

**[Sung by Bakura]**

_I made it through the wilderness_

_Somehow I made it through_

_Didn't know how lost I was_

_Until I found you_

_I was beat incomplete_

_I'd been had, I was sad and blue_

_But you made me feel_

_Yeah, you made me feel_

_Shiny and new_

_**[Chorus and Bakura Singing]**_

_Like a virgin_

_Touched for the very first time_

_Like a virgin_

_When your heart beats_

_Next to mine_

_**[Bakura Singing]**_

_Gonna give you all my love, boy_

_My fear is fading fast_

_Been saving it all for you_

_'Cause only love can last_

_You're so fine and you're mine_

_Make me strong, yeah you make me bold_

_Oh your love thawed out_

_Yeah, your love thawed out_

_What was scared and cold_

_**[Chorus and Bakura Singing]**_

_Oooh, oooh, oooh_

_**[Bakura Singing]**_

_You're so fine and you're mine_

_I'll be yours 'till the end of time_

_'Cause you made me feel_

_Yeah, you made me feel_

_I've nothing to hide_

_**[Chorus and Bakura Singing]**_

_Like a virgin, ooh, ooh_

_Like a virgin_

_Feels so good inside_

_When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me_

_**[Bakura Singing]**_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Ooh, baby_

_Can't you hear my heart beat_

_For the very first time?_

* * *

_**I Feel Pretty **_**from West Side Story**

**[Sung by Seto]**

_I feel pretty,_

_Oh, so pretty,_

_I feel pretty and witty and bright!_

_And I pity_

_Any girl who isn't me tonight._

_I feel charming,_

_Oh, so charming_

_It's alarming how charming I feel!_

_And so pretty_

_That I hardly can believe I'm real._

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:_

_Who can that attractive girl be?_

_Such a pretty face,_

_Such a pretty dress,_

_Such a pretty smile,_

_Such a pretty me!_

_I feel stunning_

_And entrancing,_

_Feel like running and dancing for joy,_

_For I'm loved_

_By a pretty wonderful boy!_

_**[Chorus]**_

_Have you met my good friend Seto,_

_The craziest girl on the block?_

_You'll know her the minute you see her,_

_She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock._

_She thinks she's in love._

_She thinks she's in Spain._

_She isn't in love,_

_She's merely insane._

_It must be the heat_

_Or some rare disease,_

_Or too much to eat_

_Or maybe it's fleas._

_Keep away from her,_

_Send for Mokuba!_

_This is not the_

_Seto we know!_

_Modest and pure,_

_Polite and refined,_

_Well-bred and mature_

_And out of her mind!_

_**[Seto Singing]**_

_I feel pretty,_

_Oh, so pretty_

_That the city should give me its key._

_A committee_

_Should be organized to honor me._

_**[Chorus]**_

_La la la la…_

_**[Seto Singing]**_

_I feel dizzy,_

_I feel sunny,_

_I feel fizzy and funny and fine,_

_And so pretty,_

_Miss America can just resign!_

_**[Chorus]**_

_La la la la…_

_**[Seto Singing]**_

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:_

_**[Chorus]**_

_What mirror where?_

_**[Seto Singing]**_

_Who can that attractive girl be?_

_**[Chorus]**_

_Which? What? Where? Whom?_

_**[Seto Singing]**_

_Such a pretty face,_

_Such a pretty dress,_

_Such a pretty smile,_

_Such a pretty me!_

_**[Chorus]**_

_Such a pretty me!_

_**[Chorus and Seto Singing]**_

_I feel stunning_

_And entrancing,_

_Feel like running and dancing for joy,_

_For I'm loved_

_By a pretty wonderful boy!_

* * *

"Thank Ra this is finally over!" exclaimed Bakura, throwing his sticky lollipop at Yami's head.

"Aw, come now, Bakura," said Ryou. "I thought you were cute."

Joey chose that time to stroll up to Seto.

"Don't you _dare _laugh," the brunet warned.

But the blond couldn't resist teasing his Dragon just a little bit. "So ya feel _pretty_, do ya?"

"That's it!" Seto screeched. "I'm going to pound you into next week!"

Joey visibly paled as he took a hesitant step back. He didn't think Seto would _ever _try to hit him! "Ya wouldn't _dare _lay a hand on me like that!"

Seto was taken aback for a moment, puzzled by Joey's reaction. Then it dawned on him. "Not 'pound' like _that_! The other one!"

"The other one?" Joey echoed. There was no other one…unless…Seto was referring to the 'in the bed' kind of pounding. "Waah!" he shrieked as he was thrown unceremoniously over Seto's shoulder.

"Come on, Puppy. We're leaving," Seto announced as he made his way out of the auditorium.

"Put me down! I don't want ya to pound me into next week! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" the blond wailed, wriggling back and forth in Seto's arms.

"Too bad. I'm getting all the puppy wuvins I can get after this whole thing," the brunet mumbled.

"Um…Seto? Ya do know you're still wearin' the dress, right?"

"Of course I do. It'll be off soon enough anyway," he hinted, squeezing his Puppy's ass.

"SETO!"

* * *

**End**


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